A Carringer Son is Born
National City, California —
August 31, 1889
Della
The pains had started in the night, low and dull at first, easy
enough to mistake for the ordinary discomfort she'd carried the last
month of this endless summer. By the time the sky had gone gray at
the window she knew better, and lay very still for a while, counting,
before she woke Austin at all.
"How long," he said, already half out of the bed, "how
long have you been lying there not telling me?"
"Not long. Go for your mother — no, go for Mrs. Halloway
first, then wake Mother, she'll only fuss less if she hears it from
you and not from me hollering."
He went, and Della lay alone a few minutes in the graying light,
one hand spread over the great tight mound of her belly, feeling it
draw up hard and then ease, and thought, with something between
terror and a strange calm she hadn't expected to feel: today,
then. Today I meet you.
By the time her mother came in — hair still loose from sleep,
wrapper thrown on over her nightdress, moving with a speed Della
hadn't seen from her since she arrived — the pains had drawn closer
together, and Della found she was glad, more glad than she could have
said, simply to see her mother's face bent over her.
"There now," Abbey said, taking her hand, "there
now, I've done this six times myself, you'll manage it. How close are
they coming?"
"I don't — I can't rightly say. Close."
"Close enough. Good." Her mother's hand was cool and
steady on her forehead. "Breathe through it, don't fight it, it
does its work faster if you let it."
The morning went on that way, in a haze of pain that came and went
and came again, closer each time, her mother's voice a low steady
thread through all of it — breathe, there, it's easing now,
rest while you can — until the words themselves stopped
meaning much and became only sound, only her mother's voice, the one
constant thing in a room that had otherwise narrowed down to nothing
but her own body and its terrible, necessary work.
When Mrs. Halloway arrived — a broad, capable woman with graying
hair and forearms like a washerwoman's, who'd midwifed half of
National City by her own account — she took one look and one touch
and said, with the flat certainty of long experience, "Well
before noon, I'd say. This one's in a hurry."
Della, between pains, thought she might have laughed if she'd had
the breath for it, and it seemed fitting enough that her own child
should be in such a hurry to arrive.
By midmorning the room had narrowed to almost nothing — her
mother on one side, Mrs. Halloway at the foot of the bed, low
murmured instruction passing between them that Della only half heard,
riding each wave as it came and finding, somewhere past the point
where she'd have said she couldn't bear another one, that she bore it
anyway, because there was nothing else to be done and because her
mother's hand never once let go of hers.
"There's the head," Mrs. Halloway said at last, in a
voice gone suddenly bright with purpose. "One more good push
now, Mrs. Carringer, just the one—"
And then, all at once, the terrible tightness broke and there was
a sound in the room that hadn't been there before — thin and
outraged and entirely new — and Della lay back against the pillow
with tears running sideways into her hair, laughing and crying at
once, while her mother's face above her broke into an expression
Della had not seen on it before, not once in her whole life,
something unguarded and shining.
"A boy," Mrs. Halloway said, working quick and sure. "A
fine big boy, and loud with it, which is only good news."
"Let me see him," Della said, or tried to say, her voice
not quite her own. "Mother — let me see—"
And then he was there, red and furious and impossibly small, laid
against her chest, and Della forgot the whole of the last twelve
hours in the single fact of him.
Abbey
Abbey had sat at enough bedsides in her life — her own six times
over, and her sisters', and neighbor women's in every county they'd
ever lived — that she thought she had grown past being frightened
by it. She discovered, sitting beside Della through that long morning
with her daughter's hand gripped tight in her own, that this was not
entirely true. There was a particular fear reserved for watching your
own child labor that nothing in her own confinements had prepared her
for.
"Breathe through it," she said, over and over, because
it was true and because it gave her something to say besides the
fear. "Don't fight it, Della, let it do its work. There now.
There now."
She remembered — could not help remembering, sitting there —
her own first labor, Della's own birth, twenty-seven years gone now,
in Devier's father's home -- an inn -- in Rolling Prairie with her own mother sitting
beside her, and a neighbor woman she'd known scarcely a year helping. She had
sworn to herself then, young and frightened and far from home, that
if she ever had a daughter of her own who labored, she would be there
for it, whatever the distance. She had crossed near two thousand
miles this past week to keep that promise, though she had not put it
to herself in quite those words until this morning.
Mrs. Halloway was competent — Abbey approved of her within the
first quarter hour, the particular quick, unhurried competence of a
woman who had done this a great many times and did not waste effort
on anything but what the moment required — and this eased something
in Abbey's chest, to have a steady hand in the room besides her own.
"You're doing well," she told Della, again and again,
smoothing the damp hair back from her daughter's forehead. "You
are doing just exactly as you ought."
When the child finally came — quick, as these things went, Mrs.
Halloway said, though it had not felt quick sitting through it —
and that thin outraged cry filled the room, Abbey felt something
break open in her own chest that she had not expected, a rush of
feeling too large and too many-sided to properly name. Relief, first
and foremost, that Della had come through it well. Joy, plain and
uncomplicated, at the sound of a new voice in the world. And
underneath both of those, something else — the sudden, vivid memory
of holding this same daughter as a newborn herself, in a different
house, a different life ago, and the strange doubled feeling of
watching that circle close.
"A grandson," she said, and found her voice was not
quite steady. "Della, look what you've done."
Austin
Austin had been banished from the room entirely — Mrs.
Halloway's doing, firm and immovable on the point, and Abbey had
backed her without hesitation — and so he spent the morning doing
the only thing left to a man in his situation, which was to wear a
groove in the boards of his own front porch and listen, with his
stomach in a knot the whole while, to the sounds coming from the
bedroom.
He had known, in an abstract way, that childbirth was hard on a
woman. He had not understood, until he stood outside that closed door
hearing Della's voice go from ordinary to strained to something he'd
never heard from her before, what that abstraction actually meant,
and he found himself, more than once that morning, gripping the porch
rail hard enough that his knuckles went white, praying in a rough,
wordless way to a God he did not often trouble in the ordinary run of
things.
His neighbor Tom Hargrove came by midmorning, saw the state of
him, and had the good sense to simply sit down on the porch step
beside him without much conversation, which Austin was grateful for
in a way he didn't have words to express at the time.
"First one's always the longest wait," Tom said
eventually. "Mine took the better part of two days, my Sarah.
You've nothing to complain of yet."
"I'm not complaining," Austin said, though his voice
came out tighter than he meant it. "I just don't know what a
man's meant to do with himself, sitting out here."
"Nothing to be done. That's the whole of it. Nothing to be
done but wait and let the women get on with it, same as they always
have."
The waiting stretched on, each hour longer than the last, until
somewhere near noon the sounds from within changed again — a rising
urgency he could hear even through the closed door and the thin walls
— and Austin came up off the porch step without quite deciding to,
standing at the door with his heart going hard in his chest, not
knowing whether to knock or simply wait.
And then he heard it: a new sound, thin and sharp and utterly
unlike anything that had come before, and every hair on his arms
stood up at once.
He did not remember crossing the porch or opening the door, only
that he was suddenly in the doorway of the bedroom, and Mrs. Halloway
was saying something about giving them just a moment more, and Abbey
was turning toward him with tears standing plain in her eyes and
something in her face he had never seen there before, and past her,
in the bed, Della was looking up at him with an expression of such
pure, exhausted joy that it undid him entirely.
"Austin." Her voice was hoarse but steady. "Come
see your son."
He crossed the room on legs that did not feel entirely his own,
and looked down at the small red furious face against Della's chest,
and felt something in his own chest simply give way.
"Devier David," Della said, watching his face. "For
your father, and for mine. Is that — will that suit?"
Austin could not, for a moment, manage any words at all. He knelt
by the bed instead and put his hand, very carefully, against the
impossibly small curl of his son's fist, and felt the tiny fingers
close around one of his own with a grip that seemed, absurdly,
already strong.
"That suits," he finally managed, his voice not entirely
steady either. "That suits just fine."
Behind him, in the doorway, Abbey stood watching the three of them
— her daughter, her son-in-law, and the newest small stranger who
carried both grandfathers' names into a family that had crossed half
a continent to be gathered, for this one morning, all in a single
room — and thought that whatever else this long westward journey
had cost the family over the years, it had brought them, at last, to
this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s Note: This is a work of historical fiction
imagining the birth, grounded in the documented fact of Devier David
Carringer's birth on August 31, 1889, and the family's presence in
National City at that time. The specifics of the labor, the midwife,
and the conversations are invented, as no firsthand account survives.