Saturday, July 11, 2009

Is there a Smooth Talking Gene?

The headline screams "7 Million People Direct Descendants of Smooth-Talking Ancestor" -- see the article here in the Science and Technology section of The Onion. It sounds right up the genetic genealogy alley, doesn't it? Megan, Blaine, Emily - why haven't you written about this guy? Are 7 million descendants not enough?

Hmmm, I'm not the smoothest of the talkers of the world - witness my recent YouTube interview, and I managed to attract only one young lady with my good looks and inarticularity (but she was a good catch!), so I must not have this particular gene passed down from charmer Welsh nobleman Gwilym of Many Conquests. Ah, and I must not have the "strong and intoxicating natural musk" odor that attracted so many females to his crib. Poor guy, he didn't even try to fight them off, apparently!

The head researcher said:

"According to the study, which analyzed blood samples from 4,000 participants in 17 countries, the lineage appears to have originated with a highly virile ninth-century Welsh nobleman known as Gwilym of Many Conquests.

"This is one of the largest diasporas known to have descended from a single progenitor," said head researcher Lawrence Ghilcrest, adding that DNA evidence now corroborates stories about the Welshman that historians once dismissed as myth. 'To have propagated his genetic material so effectively, and across so much territory, we can only infer Gwilym was quite the charmer.'"


"Though little is known of Gwilym's life, artists have traditionally depicted the suave nobleman riding an eye-catching white mustang and wearing garishly colored linen garments that fall loosely about the chest to reveal a large medallion bearing his family's crest. It is remarkable, historians note, that he was able to spread his seed so far and wide before the age of 29, when he was savagely beaten to death by a neighboring lord known as Dafydd of Nine Cuckolds."

What about Gwilym of Many Conquests? He is apparently unknown to the world of genealogy or English nobility, according to an extensive Google search. Who knew that there were Welsh noblemen in the 9th century? What a find!!

A little more Google research shows that this is the first mention of any research by a "Lawrence Ghilcrest" of Johns Hopkins University. What a nice splash into the world of science and technology, eh? Published right off the bat!

It is a great genetic genealogy story, wasn't it? Now I'll look at every long-haired, tattooed, scruffy looking slacker with two honeys sniffing his armpits that I pass with a wondering thought of "what does he have that I don't?" now that I've read about this, um, talent and odor. Well, besides more hair. And I have only six known descendants at this point in my long fatherhood career. Only 6,999,994 to go!.

1 comment:

QuiltinLibraryLady said...

Well now, Randy, if you were a reader of the Sookie Stackhouse series of books by Charlaine Harris you would know this guy was probably descended from faeries. ROTFLMAO. Supposedly their scent is irresistable to the ladies and vampires. So there COULD be drawbacks.