As told to her daughter and grandchildren in 1868, at age 77
Tell me about your childhood. Who was in your
family, where did you live, did you go to school, did you work, what
fun did you have?
I was born on the ninth day of May in 1791 in Eastham, down on
Cape Cod in Barnstable County. What a bustling household we had! My
parents were Thomas Dill and Hannah Horton, and Lord knows we filled
that house to the rafters. I had eight brothers and sisters -
Ezekiel, who was seven years my senior, then Obediah, Seth, Isaiah,
and Jabez who came just before me. After me came my brother James
Horton, then Daniel, and little Asa brought up the rear. However,
Obediah, Isaiah and Asa died as young children.
Those early years on the Cape were filled with the salt air and
the rhythm of the tides. Father worked the land and mother kept us
all in line, though I fear we gave her quite the challenge with so
many mouths to feed and minds to occupy. We children found our
entertainment in the simple pleasures - gathering shells on the
beach, helping with the harvest, and listening to the old sailors'
tales when they came through town.
The most terrible blow came when I was just six years old - my
dear mother Hannah passed away in 1797. Father was left to raise
seven children, and though he remarried twice more, and had another
daughter, Nancy, trying to give us a mother's care, nothing could
replace our mother Hannah. I, being the oldest girl, took on much of the care
for the younger ones, particularly little Nancy, especially after her
mother died.
As for schooling, I was fortunate to receive enough education to
read and write well, which was not always the case for girls in those
days. This education would prove to be my salvation in later years.
What occupations did you have?
My calling came to me early - I became a schoolteacher in Eastham
in 1813 at age 21. By 1821, when I was thirty years old and unmarried, I received a
call to teach in Dedham, Massachusetts. It was quite an adventure for
a Cape Cod girl to venture inland to Norfolk County, but I felt the
Lord's hand guiding me.
Teaching was more than just an occupation to me - it was a
mission. In those days, many children, especially girls, received
little formal education. I took pride in opening their minds to
reading, writing, and arithmetic. The schoolroom was my domain, and I
ran it with both kindness and firmness, much as my mother had run our
household.
When I married Alpheus in 1826, I gave up formal teaching to tend
to my family, but I never truly stopped being a teacher. I taught my
own children, and later helped other children in the neighborhood
with their letters and numbers.
What major life decisions did you make and how
did they work out?
The most significant decision of my life was accepting that call
to teach in Dedham. Leaving the familiar shores of Cape Cod for the
inland town was frightening, but it led me to everything that
mattered most - my faith, my husband, and my children.
In Dedham, I made another life-changing decision - I sought adult
baptism and confirmation in the Episcopal Church in March of 1822.
Until then, I had been raised in the Congregational tradition of the
Cape, but something in my heart called me to the Episcopal faith.
Being baptized and confirmed at St. Paul's Church gave me a spiritual
foundation that sustained me through all the trials that followed.
Meeting and marrying Alpheus Smith in 1826 was another decision
that shaped my entire life. He was a good man from nearby Medfield, and
together we built a life on High Street near the South School-house.
Though our time together was cut short, those fourteen years of
marriage gave me my greatest treasures - my children Lucretia Townsend Smith (named after one of my teaching friends, Lucretia Townsend) and
James Alpheus Smith (named after my brother and my husband).
After Alpheus's death, I made the decision to remain in Medfield
rather than return to Cape Cod. The children needed stability, and
Medfield had become our home. Later, when my health began to fail, I
made the difficult choice to move to Leominster to be closer to
Lucretia and her family. These decisions all worked out for the best,
though they weren't always easy at the time.
What were the hardest challenges in your life?
The greatest trial of my life came in February of 1840 when my
dear husband Alpheus was taken from me. He died suddenly, leaving me
a widow at age 48 with two young children to raise - Lucretia was
barely twelve and James was only seven. Alpheus died without leaving
a will, and the legal proceedings that followed were bewildering and
frightening.
I'll never forget the kindness of my brother James Horton Dill,
who came to my aid during the estate proceedings. When I declined to
administer Alpheus's estate - feeling overwhelmed by the legal
complexities - James stepped in and even purchased my widow's third
of the land, then gave it back to me. Family loyalty sustained me
through that dark time.
Suddenly finding myself the head of household, responsible for
putting food on the table and keeping a roof over our heads, was
daunting. I had to make the difficult decision to sell some of our
property to Lucy Butterfield in 1841 for one hundred dollars - it
pained me to let go of part of what Alpheus had worked so hard to
build, but it was necessary for our survival.
The loneliness was perhaps the hardest part. After sharing
thirteen years of marriage with Alpheus, the silence in our home was
deafening. But I had my children depending on me, and that gave me
strength to carry on.
What was your biggest accomplishment?
My greatest accomplishment was raising my children to be good,
faithful people after losing their father at such tender ages.
Lucretia grew up to marry Isaac Seaver - a fine man who treats her
well - and they've given me four beautiful grandchildren. My son James
became a successful man, married his Annie Eliza, given me two more grandchildren, and has made his
way in the world in Boston.
Through all the hardships of widowhood, I managed to keep our
family together and instill in my children the values of hard work,
Christian faith, and love of learning. They both received good
educations and have made lives for themselves that would make their
father proud.
I'm also proud of my years as a teacher. I may never know all the
lives I touched in that Dedham schoolroom, but I know that I helped
young minds grow and flourish. Knowledge is a gift that can never be
taken away, and I was blessed to be able to share that gift.
What are you proudest of?
I am proudest of my faith journey. Coming from a simple Cape Cod
family to finding my spiritual home in the Episcopal Church took
courage. Standing up for baptism as an adult woman in 1822 was not a
small thing - it represented my commitment to live according to God's
will, whatever trials He might send.
I'm proud that through all the sorrows and challenges, I never
became bitter or gave up hope. When Alpheus died, I could have fallen
into despair, but instead I chose to trust in God's plan and do my
best for my children.
I'm proud of the way my family has always supported one another.
When I needed help, my brother James was there. When my children
needed guidance, I was there. When my grandchildren need their
grandmother's love, I am here. This is how families should be - a
circle of love and support that endures through all seasons.
How do you want to be remembered?
I want to be remembered as a woman who kept her faith through all
circumstances, who loved her family deeply, and who tried to do good
in the world. I hope people will remember that I was a teacher who
cared about her students, a mother who sacrificed for her children,
and a friend who could be counted upon.
I want to be remembered as someone who faced life's hardships with
courage and grace, who didn't let tragedy make her hard-hearted, and
who found joy in simple things - a child's laughter, a sunset over
the fields, a letter from a dear friend.
Most of all, I want to be remembered as a woman who lived
according to her Christian faith, who tried to follow Christ's
example of love and service, and who passed those values on to her
children and grandchildren.
What advice do you have for your grandchildren?
My dear grandchildren, life will bring you both great joys and
great sorrows. The key is to remember that both are temporary -
neither the highest mountain nor the deepest valley lasts forever.
First and foremost, keep your faith strong. When troubles come -
and they will come - turn to God for strength and guidance. I have
seen His hand at work in my life, even in the darkest times.
Value your education. Learn to read well, write clearly, and think
for yourself. Knowledge is a treasure that no one can steal from you,
and it will serve you well no matter what path life takes you down.
Take care of your family. Be loyal to each other, help one another
in times of need, and never let pride or small disagreements tear
apart the bonds of love that tie you together. Family is the greatest
blessing you will ever have.
Work hard and be honest in all your dealings. Your reputation is
worth more than gold, and once lost, it is nearly impossible to
recover.
Don't be afraid to take reasonable risks when opportunity presents
itself. I was frightened to leave Cape Cod for Dedham, but it led to
the best things in my life.
Be kind to those less fortunate than yourself. Remember that
circumstances can change quickly, and someday you may be the one in
need of kindness.
Finally, find joy in simple pleasures. A good book, a beautiful
sunset, time spent with those you love - these are the things that
make life truly rich.
Remember that you carry the blood of hardy Cape Cod folk who faced
the storms of the Atlantic and never gave up. You have that same
strength within you. Use it well, and may God bless you all.
With all my love, Your grandmother, Elizabeth