Trick or Treat?

Trick or treating as a child and teenager was pretty tame - we always got bags of candy, since the school was 8 blocks away - we always went down Fern street on the way to the Carnival, and up 30th Street on the way back. When we were older, we played some tricks - soaping windows of houses where no one was home, leaving a bag of dog poop on the doorstep (we never lit them off, however, we were "good" boys) when the residents were chintzy with the candy, etc.

My most memorable Hallowe'en "event" was after we were married and had the girls. Our young couples group at church always had a party at Hallowe'en and everybody got dressed up and we had games and stories and prizes. One year, I was still skinny enough to put on my wife's long maternity dress, stuff a bra with small towels, and put on panty-hose and short heels (fortunately, we're about the same height and shoe size), and dabs of perfume in the right spots [Memo to self - I don't want to do that again...]. I also had on my wife's long black wig and a nice mask with a woman's face with eyeholes. So off we go to the party. We always get to parties at the appointed time so as to get a full evenings worth of the punch, food and fun.

Our pastor at the time was divorced and had a reputation as a ladies man. He always showed up late to parties. When he showed up at the door, my wife scurried into the kitchen with several of the other wives while all the husbands milled about, oblivious since they knew it was me. I adjusted everything I could before the pastor walked in. I was sitting on the couch with my legs together (that's still hard for men, you know) and my ankles crossed (not any leg hair showing).

The pastor checked everything out, saw me on the couch, sidled over and introduced himself as Ted and I stood up. He said something like "you sure look nice tonight" and I shook his hand with a limpish wrist and responded in a falsetto voice "Enchante, I'm sure." He was totally confused and I heard giggles from the open kitchen door. I wasn't quick thinking enough to lead him on further, of course, being a staid Presbyterian. I slowly removed my mask and the room erupted in laughter and he turned red. Serves him right, trying to make time with an elder in the church (we didn't have female elders then).

It was a trick (on him) and a treat (for everyone else) and a fine Hallowe'en memory for for us. When we had the church's 25th anniversary party several years later, it was replayed with much hilarity - of course I could barely fit into the dress by then.